I cannot begin to describe how angry I was yesterday. I feel completely ignored and abandoned by my rheumy. To cut a long and very unsettling appointment short, she basically told me my joint pain isn’t RA any more because that’s “under control”. I must be having “phantom pain”. Yep, those were her exact words.
When I dared to say I wasn’t happy with that her response was “well what do you want me to do?”.
Of course now I’m not in the moment I can think of a million things I want her to do. I want her to listen to my symptoms instead of staring at her file. I want her to accept that the fact the Depo-medrone shot didn’t give me any relief this time doesn’t mean I’m not suffering from joint pain and inflammation, it doesn’t work for everyone! I want her to actually make eye contact. I want her to care how I feel.
I want to know why she’s only offered me mono-therapy when NICE guidelines dictate combination therapy. I want her to realise that just because my hands don’t look inflamed today doesn’t mean they haven’t been and that they won’t tomorrow. I want her to know that I cannot walk or eat or sleep without pain, and that the fatigue is constantly dragging me under.
But most of all I want her as a medical professional to show some f*cking empathy. I ended up in floods of tears because of her manner and she took that as a chance to check her mobile phone!!! (I’m not exaggerating).
She was brusque, dismissive, and frankly rude. I have never met such a cold, unfeeling inhuman response from a medical practitioner in my life, and I will never set foot back in her office.
The nurse could see how upset I was when I left and she took me to one side and admitted Dr X can be “very clinical”, and advised that my best next step was to see my GP and get a new referral.
I have had a long think and I will be writing a letter of complaint to the hospital, detailing the full appointment and how it made me feel. I will also be requesting a new referral from my GP.
I feel incredibly let down. I have tried to tell Dr X at every one of our appointments that my symptoms are not easing, but apparently they are irrelevant.
I am just praying that my next rheumatologist is a human being. Not much to ask huh?