Poem – This Woman

She stops; this woman, and looks around.
This point, this now, this girl, who’s she? Is she really where she was meant to be?

Never her aim, this winding path, with hills to climb and stones so sharp.
Sometimes she reaches back through dreams, to a place where hopes trump might-have-beens, and a mellow yearning burns awhile, as futile as her tears.

For the past is there and set in stone, the truths of it granite, the dice long thrown.
She knows, this woman, grief plays a part, a gentled pain now faint of spark, long tucked inside a darkling heart.

A different turn, a change in speed, a lighter wind, a stronger steed?
There were gentler ways for her steps to wend, her soul moulded and shaped by much softer rains, but she chose to travel with the storm and the light, and bear proudly the scars of each obstinate fight.

There is no reward for looking behind, her footsteps vanished, the way ahead blind.
She shoulders her burdens, her memories too, she shoulders the aches and the choices once made, and looking briefly about to roads that are paved, she steps without doubt onto stones of the track, the road untravelled, her soul intact.

She steps out; this woman, and looks straight ahead. This point, this now, this girl, who’s she? Forged by her journey, she is all she can be.



Poem – Cessation

The colours around me all merge to a blur, the world is moving too fast
I see through a mist and I hear through a fog

And the ride keeps spinning around

The feelings I once had of laughter and hope seem to be slipping away
I reach and I yearn to touch them once more

And the ride keeps spinning around

The cage I am trapped in tightens each day, the bars seem closer at night
I shrink from their touch as I hide in the pain

And the ride keeps spinning around

The energy needed to move me has gone, I am empty,  withered and dry
I ache for cessation, an end to this life

And the ride keeps spinning around

The noise of the world keeps drowning my cries, my whisper is lost as I turn
I’m screaming in silence oh please make it stop

And the ride keeps spinning around.

Poem – Invisibly Drowning

The weight feels like water, running over and down and around and under me
It twists my perception until I no longer recognise up
This invisible drowning, choking my mind and my soul
My thoughts turns to water, all liquid with no train to grasp
I see land all around me and it teases me with a veiled normality
My limbs twist and ache, heavy with memories of movement and ease
I reach for a branch, a twig, a leaf, anything to keep me floating
I know that swimming is forever beyond me, that tide has turned
And again today, I fight the call of the depths
Where there is no weight, no water, no pain, I strive just to float
All the time invisibly drowning